GET A ROOF!

91,314 notes

Me with romantic interest:
Hi, how've you been lately? How's that project you're working on? Yeah? I'd love to see sometime, dude! How's the family? Good, good. Well, I'll talk to you later! Yeah we definitely need to hang out more often. Hopefully see you soon! :)
Me with platonic friend:
YOU GORGEOUS CREATURE HOW LONG HAS IT BEEN SINCE LAST I SAW YOU? HOW I'VE MISSED YOUR LUCID DIAMOND EYES, UGH I JUST WANT TO KISS YOU AND MAKE SWEET, SWEET LOVE UNDER THE MOONLIGHT. WHY ARE YOU SO PERFECTLY SCULPTED, ARE YOU AN ANGEL MADE OF MARBLE LET'S GET MARRIED.
Me with closest friend:
What up, foul beast? You smell of butts. I'm going to fuck your mum.

314,345 notes

Me:
procrastinating on tumblr
My parents:
can you please-
Me:
are you serious do you even know how much homework i have im stressing over so much please don't make me do it i really need to get this homework done im so tired

26,702 notes

jonathantoewsed:

“you’ll scare guys off with that feminist crap”

oh i’m sorry

you’re right

the kind of guy who has problems with me demanding that i be treated as his equal is totally the kind of guy i want to be in a relationship with

my mistake

(via briennneoftarth)

85,656 notes

hannibalthecanibal:

vachelsstrife:

wibbly-wobbly-timeywimeystuff:

gallifrey-feels:

the-timelord-girl-who-hunts:

iseewhatyoudidier:

fiftyshadesoffandoms:

akiglancy:

gayest sport on earth

somebody’s obviously never heard of turkish oil wrestling

WHAT

OH MY GOD I AM CRYING

you have not LIVED until you’ve seen live Turkish oil wrestling.

why is he putting his hand in his pants

That’s how you win. By securing a grip on the “kisbet” (the special type of pants the wrestlers wear) and then pinning the opponent is how victory is achieved. The loser will then kiss the victor’s hand as a sign of respect and admiration. 

that sport was so made up as an explanation for two guys getting caught going at it

(Source: olliren, via gabrielsaunteredvaguelydownwards)